Uncertainty

Uncertainty. Doubting our choices. Not knowing our choices. Confusion.

Life sometimes hands us a decision, fates align and all is natural, organic and well. Those times are zen. 

They are trust in self and situation. They are truth and positivity and light. Knowledge in the utter rightness of the choices we make leave us with a sense of diligence and integrity in our path.

And then..

Nothing lines up. Stagnation takes over. Things seem all wrong, all of the time. Nothing feels concrete. The stars do not always ordain our futures. We stumble. We search. We reach in the dark, feeling this and that, cold unrelenting surfaces with nothing extraordinary to guide us to commitment. It is normalcy. Mundane.

Doubt surfaces, unappealing in every possible way. Can we agree, buckle down, carry on, with no real path?

Divinity has scarred us. So many big events have left us with the expectation of manifest destiny. How will we carry on without it?  

Without a firm knowledge that our choices are written in the stars, how can we, in good faith to ourselves and our futures, sort through beguiling circumstances and underwhelming options?

Choices are just not of now. We live with them. Can we trust our innate and nurtured selves to impart discretion and wisdom fully and starkly?

Supposedly people do it all of the time. They believe in deduction and convince themselves of righteousness. They find those surfaces in the dark and feel every nook, notch, bump, dent, imperfection and blemish. They piece together routes, alternatives and excitement. They emerge from the quest tried, confident, final and fixed. They choose. Those people puzzle. They worry. They choose.  

I don’t buy it. I’d like my simple and true. I’d like tried, confident, final and fixed through the fates aligning. I’d like natural, organic and well.

I’d like no uncertainty.