Uncertainty. Doubting our choices. Not knowing our choices. Confusion.
Life sometimes hands us a decision, fates align and all is
natural, organic and well. Those times are zen.
They are trust in self and
situation. They are truth and positivity and light. Knowledge in the utter
rightness of the choices we make leave us with a sense of diligence and integrity
in our path.
And then..
Nothing lines up. Stagnation takes over. Things seem all wrong,
all of the time. Nothing feels concrete. The stars do not always ordain our
futures. We stumble. We search. We reach in the dark, feeling this and that,
cold unrelenting surfaces with nothing extraordinary to guide us to commitment.
It is normalcy. Mundane.
Doubt surfaces, unappealing in every possible way. Can we
agree, buckle down, carry on, with no real path?
Divinity has scarred us. So many big events have left us
with the expectation of manifest destiny. How will we carry on without it?
Without a firm knowledge that our choices are written in the
stars, how can we, in good faith to ourselves and our futures, sort through beguiling
circumstances and underwhelming options?
Choices are just not of now. We live with them. Can we trust
our innate and nurtured selves to impart discretion and wisdom fully and
starkly?
Supposedly people do it all of the time. They believe in
deduction and convince themselves of righteousness. They find those surfaces in
the dark and feel every nook, notch, bump, dent, imperfection and blemish. They
piece together routes, alternatives and excitement. They emerge from the quest
tried, confident, final and fixed. They choose. Those people puzzle. They worry.
They choose.
I don’t buy it. I’d like my simple and true. I’d like tried,
confident, final and fixed through the fates aligning. I’d like natural, organic
and well.
I’d like no uncertainty.
