Next
I was in theatre class, doing warm up exercises with the children (ten 9-12 year olds). I tried to ask who wanted to be next.
Me: Quien quieres …. ummm next?
Internal thoughts: Dang it all, what is the word for next?
Cesar (a 10 year old): Nexto?
Me: Si? Nexto es correcto?
Cesar: Si, si, si.
Me: Quien quieres nexto?
In the next class…
Josue: Podemos jugar nexto?
Internal thoughts: What does he want to play next?
Me: Como?
Josue begins to mime the beginning of the exercises from the previous class.
After class, I plug ‘next’ into google translate: proximo. I knew that! I plug in ‘nexto’ : nothing.
For the rest of class, warm ups have been known as ‘Nexto’. I successfully named a knew game. When I asked who wanted to be 'nexto' they took it as a title, not as a position in the chronological exercise.
The Bee
Charlotte and I are walking down the street, she drops her water bottle, it hits her elbow and lands dangerous close to a pedestrian walking parallel to us on the street.
Woman stares at Charlotte and I as if to say: Why did you just try to hit me with a water bottle, and a full one at that?
Charolette (in English): Oh, sorry!
Me: Lo siento!
Woman continues to stare:…
Charlotte stares at me, as if she expects me to explain.
Me: Hay un conejo.
Woman stares with a renewed ferver…
Internal thoughts: That is pretty straightforward ‘there is a bee...’ Ahhhh! I said rabbit!
Me: Abeja! Hay un abeja! Lo siento!
Woman nods and continues walking.
Was there a bee? Absolutely. Somewhere in the general vicinity... I am sure... Did it have anything to do with Charlotte basically throwing her water bottle at this woman? No. Not in the slightest. I just thought "Se cayo'" didn't explain the strength of her spastic-ness.
She’s Gotta Go
During a language lesson with Krissia
Krissia: Puedo ir al bano?
Me: No
Internal Thoughts: Do I look like I need to go, I mean I am a bit fidgety, but that isn’t new. She should be used to it… Is she trying to see if I physically can? What a strange question…
Krissia (confused): No?
Internal thoughts: There is no way I can screw that up… I learned it in high school… Puedo=can I, ir=go, al =the, bano=bathroom. Super straight forward….
Krissia: Pero, yo necesito…
Me: Oh! Si, SI, SI. Puedes!
She was asking me if she could go.
**Honorable Mention**
This is a wonderful faux pas from my dear friend Christy!
Get Knekked
Christy was teaching a class in a little town called El Sitio. She was showing the kinder class how to play human knots. All of the children were sufficiently knotted, holding hands with other children in a sufficiently complicated manner, ready to untangle themselves. She simply had to tell them to do so.
Christy: Ahora, vamos a desnudarnos.
Women cooking within hearing distance: Hehehe
Children stare and shuffle feet.
Christy’s Thoughts: des=un, nudar= knot…. Now, let's untie ourselves, oops, no definitely means get undressed! ...but her brain was stuck, and she said it again
Christy: Ahora, vamos a desnudarnos...
Women cooking within hearing distance: Hehehe... hehehe.. he
Children stare and shuffle feet some more.
Christy repeats, no less than 4 times: Ahora, vamos a desnudarnos...
Finally, the synopsis clicked and the right words came
Christy: Ahora, vamos a deshacer el nudo
...but she had asked a group of kinders to undress, no less than 5 times.
And many more... These are just a few of my favorites...
